Search Buddhist Channel

Buddhist Soup: Don't blame the mirror for showing you

By Daniel J. Perez, The Daily Colonial, October 18 2007

Washington, USA -- We’re all familiar with the classic idea of a fairy tale romance and no doubt we’ve had our own idealized dreams of the love of our life that will someday sweep us off our feet and provide us with happiness ever after. Of course, we all know on a rational level that this sort of fantasy is just that – a mere fantasy.

Despite this, many of us tend to cling to the idea that true happiness will never come unless we find this ideal someone – whether that be someone to “fall in love” with in the immediate future or an eventual life-long partner.

Longing for that special someone will not get us very far. If anything, we are wasting our time and setting ourselves up for defeat.

Buddha Soup offers a different perspective. First of all, come to realize that you are the only one responsible for your happiness – nobody can give it to you.

It’s likely this is something you inherently already know, yet for some reason you choose to pretend you don’t know – continually looking to other people or material things for satisfaction. So if we already know this why don’t we act like it? Well, like anything else, it is ten times easier to depend on someone else as oppose to doing it ourselves. As kids, we naturally had to depend on our parents to put food on our table and a roof over our heads.

Happiness, on the other hand, was not something our parents could give us (though they can make it easier or more challenging as most of you I’m sure experience). Likewise, our partners cannot give us happiness either, and thinking that way is only setting ourselves up for disappointment.

The truth of the matter is that your happiness is all up to you and there is no way getting around it. Only after you are ready to fully accept this can you find that special someone you’ve been longing for, or find solutions to what itches you about your current relationship. Why is this so? Ever heard of the old saying “you’ve got to love yourself before you can truly love another”? As cliché as it sounds, it is the absolute truth.

The condition of our relationships is always a reflection of ourselves, which means our dependence, insecurities, and fears will all manifest themselves in some way, shape or form to negatively affect our relationship, of lack thereof.

“It is no use to blame the mirror if your face is awry” goes the Buddhist saying. Likewise, if you think that your internal strife will disappear when you find the right partner, you are sadly mistaken. Instead, you may be setting yourself up for an unhealthy relationship, asking for an eventual painful breakup, and creating an even larger void then the one you began with.

Too many of us seem to follow this pattern, which often times leads to depression, poor performance in school, health problems, or just an outright waste of our infinitely beautiful lives. It’s actually quite simple: only after you truly love yourself can you expect healthy love to come back to you through another.

In this way, if you are unhappy about being single or are in a relationship that doesn’t quite meet your needs, Buddha Soup asks you to work on yourself first – from the inside out. Once you can do this, you will finally have the ability to move the hearts of others and find that truly healthy relationship which will only make your already happy life happier.

We Need Your Help to Train the
Buddhist AI Chat Bot NORBU!
(Neural Operator for Responsible Buddhist Understanding)

Dear Friends in the Dharma,

We seek your generous support to help us train NORBU, the word's first Buddhist AI Chat Bot.

Here are some ways you can contribute to this noble cause:

One-time Donation or Loan: A single contribution, regardless of its size, will go a long way in helping us reach our goal and make the Buddhist LLM a beacon of wisdom for all.

How will your donation / loan be used? Download the NORBU White Paper for details.

For Malaysians and Singaporeans, please make your donation to the following account:

Account Name: Bodhi Vision
Account No:. 2122 00000 44661
Bank: RHB

The SWIFT/BIC code for RHB Bank Berhad is: RHBBMYKLXXX
Address: 11-15, Jalan SS 24/11, Taman Megah, 47301 Petaling Jaya, Selangor
Phone: 603-9206 8118

Note: Please indicate your purpose of payment (loan or donation) in the payment slip. Thank you.

Once payment is banked in, please send the payment slip via email to: editor@buddhistchannel.tv. Your donation/loan will be published and publicly acknowledged on the Buddhist Channel.

Spread the Word: Share this initiative with your friends, family and fellow Dharma enthusiasts. Join "Friends of Norbu" at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/norbuchatbot. Together, we can build a stronger community and create a positive impact on a global scale.

Volunteer: If you possess expertise in AI, natural language processing, Dharma knowledge in terms of Buddhist sutras in various languages or related fields, and wish to lend your skills, please contact us. Your knowledge and passion could be invaluable to our project's success.

Your support is part of a collective effort to preserve and disseminate the profound teachings of Buddhism. By contributing to the NORBU, you become a "virtual Bodhisattva" to make Buddhist wisdom more accessible to seekers worldwide.

Thank you for helping to make NORBU a wise and compassionate Buddhist Chatbot!

May you be blessed with inner peace and wisdom,

With deepest gratitude,

Kooi F. Lim
On behalf of The Buddhist Channel Team

Note: To date, we have received the following contributions for NORBU:
US$ 75 from Gary Gach (Loan)
US$ 50 from Chong Sim Keong
MYR 300 from Wilson Tee
MYR 500 from Lim Yan Pok
MYR 50 from Oon Yeoh
MYR 200 from Ooi Poh Tin
MYR 300 from Lai Swee Pin
MYR 100 from Ong Hooi Sian
MYR 1,000 from Fam Sin Nin
MYR 500 from Oh teik Bin
MYR 300 from Yeoh Ai Guat
MYR 300 from Yong Lily
MYR 50 from Bandar Utama Buddhist Society
MYR 1,000 from Chiam Swee Ann
MYR 1,000 from Lye Veei Chiew
MYR 1,000 from Por Yong Tong
MYR 80 from Lee Wai Yee
MYR 500 from Pek Chee Hen
MYR 300 from Hor Tuck Loon
MYR 1,000 from Wise Payments Malaysia Sdn Bhd
MYR 200 from Teo Yen Hua
MYR 500 from Ng Wee Keat
MYR 10,000 from Chang Quai Hung, Jackie (Loan)
MYR 10,000 from K. C. Lim & Agnes (Loan)
MYR 10,000 from Juin & Jooky Tan (Loan)
MYR 100 from Poh Boon Fong (on behalf of SXI Buddhist Students Society)
MYR 10,000 from Fam Shan-Shan (Loan)
MYR 10,000 from John Fam (Loan)
MYR 500 from Phang Cheng Kar
MYR 100 from Lee Suat Yee
MYR 500 from Teo Chwee Hoon (on behalf of Lai Siow Kee)
MYR 200 from Mak Yuen Chau

We express our deep gratitude for the support and generosity.

If you have any enquiries, please write to: editor@buddhistchannel.tv

TOP